Creating a function without using print and input

Creating a function without using print and input

I am creating a function useless with 3 parameters and the output is 'That
was a waste of my time' The code that I tried is:
def useless("Hello, 95, "jello"):
x = 'That was a waste of my time'
return x
There is supposed to be an output but there is none... and it also says I
am making a syntax error on the first line.
The output is supposed to be 'This was a waste of my time'
I can't detect anything that is wrong... What can I do?? I am not getting
an output and I am also having a syntax error